About flea_of_death : Okay, editing this now that I'm on a computer and don't have to worry about autocorrect. First off, I don't care if you love me or hate me. I'll say what I want to say. Second, I'm busy with school, so if you message me and I don't respond for a while, please don't be offended! Third, I rarely comment because I hate dealing with dumb people. Anything else, feel free to message me!
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Today, my mom and siblings got into a fight. Being generally quiet and non-confrontational, I stayed out of it. Shortly thereafter, I was yelled at by my mother for being "ungrateful" and "disrespectful." I still don't know what I did wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18954) - you deserved it (1551)
On 01/12/2012 at 12:00am - kids - by tiredoffamilydinners (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55358) - you deserved it (2252)
On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my fiancé called and hung up right after I answered. He called back 5 minutes later demanding to know the name of the man who answered my phone. This "man" was me. I have bronchitis. Yes, he's aware of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22382) - you deserved it (1602)
On 01/08/2012 at 1:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, with the cost of craft supplies that ended in a DIY fail, then a costume and overnight shipping, I have now spent $90 to obtain a $10 hat and vest for my daughter to play a cow in the school Christmas play. She will say "Moo" three times with 5 other cows before leaving the stage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17265) - you deserved it (5227)
On 12/24/2011 at 9:38am - kids - by Broke Mama (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because I was blocking the T.V. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22444) - you deserved it (5323)
On 12/22/2011 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lalala - United Kingdom (Croydon)
Today, my separation anxiety got so intense, I found myself smelling my boyfriend's pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15631) - you deserved it (5898)
On 12/21/2011 at 12:12am - love - by 409sPoisonGirl - Australia
Today, I went to dinner to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I received a text message, so I pulled out my phone to check. Apparently, his parents have a "No phone at the table rule" and took my phone away until I can learn "proper table manners." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13163) - you deserved it (30773)
On 12/18/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by grounded - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to dinner to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I received a text message, so I pulled out my phone to check. Apparently, his parents have a "No phone at the table rule" and took my phone away until I can learn "proper table manners." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13163) - you deserved it (30773)
On 12/18/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by grounded - United States (Texas)
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27901) - you deserved it (4965)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, I accidentally called my cute boss "babe." I now have to pretend it's what I call everyone, and start calling all my coworkers "babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10377) - you deserved it (20460)
On 12/14/2011 at 12:18am - work - by Shelly - United States (California)
Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26415) - you deserved it (2402)
On 12/09/2011 at 2:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24168) - you deserved it (3278)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salt and water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23857) - you deserved it (5581)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I went to a nursing home to sing Christmas carols to the elderly. They threw their bananas at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20602) - you deserved it (4372)
On 11/29/2011 at 7:42am - work - by robincakes94 - United States
Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML
I agree, your life sucks (5581) - you deserved it (42228)
On 11/25/2011 at 9:09pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Friday 24 May 2013
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