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flap1997

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flap1997

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  • Number of visits : 296
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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flap1997's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:53pm

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Today, I was released from jail. I had helped a three year old girl get up after falling on a wet floor at the mall last night when the security guards tasered me. Only this morning did they tell me they had mistaken me for a child molester that looks a little bit like me. FML

#14710569
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41577) - you deserved it (3101)

On 01/25/2011 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my electric globe. It asks you where a state, country or city is and you would have to find it and click on it with the pen. I also found out that my parents would sneak into my room at night, take it and play 'strip-globe'. FML

#14708119
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23698) - you deserved it (2569)

On 01/25/2011 at 9:10am - intimacy - by Charlotte -

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40086) - you deserved it (26545) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40086) - you deserved it (26545) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

#14567167
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33083) - you deserved it (7002)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

#13876675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40066) - you deserved it (12303)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

#13876675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40066) - you deserved it (12303)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

#13876675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40066) - you deserved it (12303)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me "don't worry, someday you'll be mature as well." By this, he meant that I will be willing to have sex with him in public. FML

#13454741
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27002) - you deserved it (4149)

On 10/15/2010 at 1:13am - intimacy - by anouk05 (woman) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35737) - you deserved it (20895)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (3630)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (3630)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was arguing with one of my professors. She said that all married couples fight and I told her that my parents have never argued or fought about anything. When I got home my parents told me that they're getting a divorce. FML

#5288032
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39233) - you deserved it (11689)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:38am - misc - by omgstfuplz (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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