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About flamer980 : Hai thar. My name is Alex :3 I'm Canadian, I'm a wrestler, I'm a gamer, I'm a java developer. Being true to yourself and speaking your mind are qualities I value. If you'd like to talk or know more, shoot me an email at flamer980@gmail.com or inbox me! ^.^
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Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7114) - you deserved it (536)
On 05/13/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by vron991 - United States (Delaware)
Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4750) - you deserved it (1070)
On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7630) - you deserved it (875)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6807) - you deserved it (629)
On 05/09/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by aligator1009 - United States
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4371) - you deserved it (7378)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3296) - you deserved it (10698)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2047) - you deserved it (14007)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6605) - you deserved it (1294)
On 04/18/2012 at 4:48am - love - by James C (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you deserved it (1699)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8270) - you deserved it (2649)
On 04/15/2012 at 3:03am - intimacy - by bummed - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9539) - you deserved it (2728)
On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21495) - you deserved it (12373)
On 03/21/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7559) - you deserved it (1249)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7874) - you deserved it (1764)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States
I agree, your life sucks (5748) - you deserved it (15467)
On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
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