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flamebushido

Offline (the 01/25/2015 at 4:10pm) | Search for a member

flamebushido

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  • Number of visits : 114
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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flamebushido's page activity

Visits<b>Chrisseruss</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 4:25pm<b>zach205</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 8:55pm

flamebushido's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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flamebushido's favorite FMLs

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32822) - you deserved it (4231)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28376) - you deserved it (3335)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34521) - you deserved it (3456)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42653) - you deserved it (5142)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

#21265865
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34715) - you deserved it (3770)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

#21257293
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32286) - you deserved it (16118)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:29am - misc - by Nat - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

#21184110
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45560) - you deserved it (3527)

On 06/22/2014 at 11:10am - misc - by paywithpoop - United States

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43221) - you deserved it (6115)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45100) - you deserved it (8468)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51700) - you deserved it (4529)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML



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