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flamebushido

Offline (the 06/27/2015 at 4:40pm) | Search for a member

flamebushido

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 207
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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flamebushido's page activity

Visits<b>Chrisseruss</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 4:25pm<b>zach205</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 8:55pm

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The Mixer

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flamebushido's favorite FMLs

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29270) - you deserved it (3682)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

#21426414
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30963) - you deserved it (4734)

On 06/15/2015 at 10:49am - animals - by justin Bieber - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29394) - you deserved it (3950)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

#21412078
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25082) - you deserved it (7096)

On 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm - misc - by Swabidizop - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML

#21411283
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29420) - you deserved it (2272)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, my parents, my aunt and her husband went out to dinner. There, my aunt told us that she was pregnant, and out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

#21387788
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24903) - you deserved it (14710)

On 04/04/2015 at 11:06pm - kids - by TKPhai - United States (California)

Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML

#21384585
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26816) - you deserved it (2098)

On 03/31/2015 at 3:40am - kids - by Teach (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (78)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

#21364742
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30130) - you deserved it (2259)

On 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

#21347486
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (6560)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm - misc - by WalkTheOtherWay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29901) - you deserved it (13161)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML



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