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flamebushido

Offline (the 01/29/2016 at 1:20pm) | Search for a member

flamebushido

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 332
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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flamebushido's page activity

Visits<b>Chrisseruss</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 4:25pm<b>zach205</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 8:55pm

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flamebushido's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML

#21520140
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17487) - you deserved it (3179)

On 01/27/2016 at 5:35pm - work - by westwoodcosmo - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

#21519974
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20415) - you deserved it (1976)

On 01/27/2016 at 7:02am - health - by oliver (man) - United States

Today, I was sucking on a candy and I began choking. A coworker rushed over to give me the Heimlich maneuver. That freed the candy from my throat, and also the shit from my bowels. FML

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

#21496534
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25519) - you deserved it (2649)

On 11/25/2015 at 1:00am - kids - by coolest_mom (woman) -

Today, after several months desperately searching for a job and feeling pretty insecure and unimportant, I drove 15 miles to a job interview. On parking my car at the destination, I found that during my drive a spider had been making a cobweb between the car and my hair. FML

#21489841
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (1665)

On 11/08/2015 at 5:03am - animals - by Geemeisters - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

#21489374
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24299) - you deserved it (1997)

On 11/06/2015 at 9:03pm - health - by Anonymouse -

Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML

#21487370
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30984) - you deserved it (3911)

On 11/02/2015 at 2:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I dropped my phone between my legs and tried to catch it with my thighs. Instead, the phone fell through just as I crushed my own balls with my legs. FML

#21486155
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19507) - you deserved it (4707)

On 10/30/2015 at 1:01pm - health - by MedChew - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29278) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML

#21467226
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32058) - you deserved it (2788)

On 09/11/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by EverettA - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to explain to my dad how I rear-ended the car in front of me because of a particularly intense banjo solo. FML

#21461958
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12870) - you deserved it (18456)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by mumfordandsonimdisappointed - United States

Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML

#21461761
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26202) - you deserved it (2097)

On 08/28/2015 at 4:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia)

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25794) - you deserved it (10247)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31095) - you deserved it (4126)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

#21426414
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32819) - you deserved it (5147)

On 06/15/2015 at 10:49am - animals - by justin Bieber - United States (Michigan)



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