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firestar772

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firestar772
  • Town/Country : Fresno, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 December 1982 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 61
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 16 posted

About firestar772 : I spend several hours each night moderating, reading, and laughing at various anecdotes. It is an essential part of my day, as well as bike racing, radio control racing, and minecraft.

firestar772's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of firestar772's badges

firestar772's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37076) - you deserved it (12546)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

#20763905
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42721) - you deserved it (3690)

On 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm - health - by Your ass... Grab it... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53835) - you deserved it (3197)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37848) - you deserved it (2612)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML

#20738117
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34251) - you deserved it (5874)

On 06/20/2013 at 11:06pm - health - by Ouch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45344) - you deserved it (4252)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

#20577290
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54055) - you deserved it (4930)

On 04/06/2013 at 10:15am - intimacy - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30248) - you deserved it (3771)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18386) - you deserved it (2662)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)



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