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fire_flies

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fire_flies

1Fucked!

fire_fliesfire_flies
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 239
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About fire_flies : Life is just dull without music

fire_flies's page activity

Visits<b>queensassygoat</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:47pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:03pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 3:31pm<b>Keladrylady</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:15pm<b>taccoburrito596</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 4:02am<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 3:33am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 1:32am<b>DarkJediLove</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 8:45pm<b>Alicestraza</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 4:39pm<b>Whoop_whoop</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 2:10pm<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:31pm<b>rachelpayne18</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 9:52am<b>Miizuo</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:13am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 7:06pm<b>hotel135</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 2:37am<b>dresnick</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:43pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 4:16pm

Fucked!<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 1:30pm

fire_flies's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of fire_flies's badges

fire_flies's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28838) - you deserved it (17271)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31433) - you deserved it (4432)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

#21325643
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31231) - you deserved it (2888)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44741) - you deserved it (7037)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64745) - you deserved it (26716)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

#20804580
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50175) - you deserved it (9611)

On 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm - health - by picklebug (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41903) - you deserved it (9046)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

#18153680
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17706) - you deserved it (50100)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30923) - you deserved it (7285)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28692) - you deserved it (5097)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

#3602722
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59795) - you deserved it (4438)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:33am - intimacy - by Told_You_So (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83660) - you deserved it (14263)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML

#37276
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (6179)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by shorty (woman) - United States (New York)



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