finkplamingo

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finkplamingo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1883
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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finkplamingo's page activity

Visits<b>oakeidoakei</b> - the 09/13/2011 at 12:54am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:36pm<b>tinytimmy2</b> - the 07/06/2011 at 7:44pm<b>gummibehrs</b> - the 04/02/2011 at 4:21pm<b>WhaTrWe5</b> - the 02/12/2011 at 11:30am<b>fisheatsbear</b> - the 06/18/2010 at 3:11am<b>aardvarkish</b> - the 06/17/2010 at 2:46pm<b>lolinger</b> - the 05/13/2010 at 5:33pm

finkplamingo's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

finkplamingo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML

by Oops / 11/01/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to adopt a 11 year old dog that has been in need of a home for several months. Two hours after I got him home, I discovered him dead in the backyard. FML

by anonymous / 10/30/2009 at 3:45am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I found my checking and savings account to both read $0.00. My parents transferred all my money to theirs because "I'm irresponsible, and not fit to handle money." I'm a 3.8 college student and have a full-time job. They are currently unemployed. FML

by Bummer / 10/29/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend that said, "Last week was the most embarassing time of my life, we're over." He was of course referring to the seizure that I had due to my epilepsy at Olive Garden. FML

by Allie / 10/29/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML

by NotAParabola / 10/07/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML

by stalker / 09/27/2009 at 1:24pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML

by Non-active / 09/25/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally told my fiancé about the crippling sexual abuse I suffered through as a child. He immediately broke off the wedding. His reason? He can't marry someone who isn't "pure". FML

by Jackie / 09/17/2009 at 9:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML

by Sadmom / 09/17/2009 at 7:58pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends took me out to the most expensive restaurant in town to celebrate my promotion, we ordered everything with expensive drinks too. They 'took a smoke break' and left me with the bill. FML

by howrude / 09/11/2009 at 7:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me several flowers and chocolate boxes to my office. It ends up that he cheated on me with my sister and tried to break the news to me after all the presents he sent. I thought he actually remembered our anniversary this year. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 2:35am / United States (California) / Love

Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML

by slashteddy / 09/09/2009 at 7:30pm / United States / Work

Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Kids