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filledelest

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filledelest

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1196
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Bluemonster3</b> - the 01/29/2012 at 5:19pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:33pm<b>IIIlibras</b> - the 07/30/2011 at 11:47am

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filledelest's favorite FMLs

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6581) - you deserved it (54018)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML

#20075333
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21767) - you deserved it (2134)

On 09/16/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Blueberry (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

#20007867
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18776) - you deserved it (11437)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:17pm - work - by Employee (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

#19986172
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24915) - you deserved it (3571)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11471) - you deserved it (38258)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12894) - you deserved it (26696)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

#19291584
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37584) - you deserved it (2829)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (3308)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

#18915455
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13264) - you deserved it (28440)

On 01/26/2012 at 11:45am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

#18754752
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31062) - you deserved it (2318)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21396) - you deserved it (41217)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12086) - you deserved it (91467)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paper clip. FML

#18402392
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (5019)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:38am - work - by ohno - United States (Florida)



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