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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25837) - you deserved it (4696)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States
Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17362) - you deserved it (5640)
On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20954) - you deserved it (5505)
On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my younger brother brought home his new bagpipes. My older brother plays the drums. I'm currently preparing to sit the most important exams of my schooling life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18094) - you deserved it (1707)
On 09/30/2011 at 8:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was getting ready to perform a speech in anthropology on the globalization of public transportation and how it brings cultures together. On the bus ride there, the girls behind me were discussing ways to hide their track marks after injecting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14466) - you deserved it (1669)
On 09/30/2011 at 12:50am - work - by nearlythere - Australia
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25384) - you deserved it (3933)
On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23442) - you deserved it (10127)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over some talk about one of their moms being somewhat inclined towards intercourse with her pets. I managed to slip out quietly with just a scratch from flying chair debris, despite having started the rumor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5308) - you deserved it (43218)
On 08/05/2011 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21611) - you deserved it (7041)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12538) - you deserved it (22881)
On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105196) - you deserved it (5803)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25401) - you deserved it (2574)
On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)
Today, as I was walking back inside I noticed my mop leaning on the wall next to my door. I picked it up and started slow dancing with it, imagining it was the girl I'm in love with. I didn't notice my neighbours bunched up at their window laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9838) - you deserved it (25813)
On 05/04/2011 at 6:01am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I finally got the courage to talk to a guy I secretly like. I was so nervous that instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I said, "Veronica, I'm high." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26914) - you deserved it (5951)
On 04/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32101) - you deserved it (7248)
On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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