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filledelest

Offline (the 08/18/2014 at 9:59pm) | Search for a member

filledelest

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  • Number of visits : 777
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Bluemonster3</b> - the 01/29/2012 at 5:19pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:33pm<b>IIIlibras</b> - the 07/30/2011 at 11:47am

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filledelest's favorite FMLs

Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML

#20166401
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25384) - you deserved it (5319)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20051) - you deserved it (2787)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20250) - you deserved it (3182)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5877) - you deserved it (50843)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML

#20075333
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19910) - you deserved it (1961)

On 09/16/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Blueberry (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

#20007867
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16980) - you deserved it (10591)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:17pm - work - by Employee (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

#19986172
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23511) - you deserved it (3417)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10688) - you deserved it (36779)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12076) - you deserved it (25711)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

#19291584
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35266) - you deserved it (2659)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21778) - you deserved it (3287)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

#18915455
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13118) - you deserved it (28254)

On 01/26/2012 at 11:45am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

#18754752
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30812) - you deserved it (2305)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)



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