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Fingerprints everywhere
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9929) - you deserved it (667)
On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14356) - you deserved it (2050)
On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3523) - you deserved it (6756)
On 01/26/2012 at 11:45am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23944) - you deserved it (1580)
On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14738) - you deserved it (26109)
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7871) - you deserved it (60994)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paper clip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7193) - you deserved it (1572)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:38am - work - by ohno - United States (Florida)
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17821) - you deserved it (2537)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4606) - you deserved it (33421)
On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3804) - you deserved it (8964)
On 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4379) - you deserved it (10356)
On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States
Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10077) - you deserved it (1956)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States
Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7061) - you deserved it (2483)
On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18769) - you deserved it (4225)
On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my younger brother brought home his new bagpipes. My older brother plays the drums. I'm currently preparing to sit the most important exams of my schooling life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16369) - you deserved it (1303)
On 09/30/2011 at 8:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
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