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About filit : [insert witty description here]
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38584) - you deserved it (2843)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37559) - you deserved it (3971)
On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23226) - you deserved it (2386)
On 08/23/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by SummerGirl0009 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (48779) - you deserved it (8758)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41083) - you deserved it (3187)
On 08/06/2009 at 11:40am - misc - by daddysboy123 (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34125) - you deserved it (5132)
On 08/06/2009 at 11:05am - misc - by Screwupify (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70091) - you deserved it (14844)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend was reading me a love poem he wrote for me. It was beautiful, and going really well until he read the last line, which had a girl's name in it. It wasn't my name. My boyfriend said "shit, wrong girl", and dug through his bag for a different poem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48525) - you deserved it (3011)
On 08/04/2009 at 7:27am - love - by jemma (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38040) - you deserved it (2911)
On 07/30/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by thesockmancometh (man) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56769) - you deserved it (2875)
On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48253) - you deserved it (2228)
On 07/21/2009 at 6:17pm - kids - by GabsAlot829 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
I agree, your life sucks (69620) - you deserved it (4103)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, it was my fifth wedding anniversary. After an intense lovemaking session, my husband looked lovingly into my eyes and asked, "How do you feel about polygamy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (45502) - you deserved it (2661)
On 07/18/2009 at 12:14pm - intimacy - by nonmormon (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, there was a meeting at work. I had to give a presentation to my boss and the other attendants. My first subject was on how my 5 year old son got to my briefcase and replaced the contents of it with crayons and a stuffed teddy bear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34421) - you deserved it (3338)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22839) - you deserved it (99487)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
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