Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fightingkittens

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

fightingkittens

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7212
  • Number of comments : 241
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>garage</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:49am<b>gingervitis217</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:09am<b>tonyromoy</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 11:49pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:00pm<b>Seabiscuit218</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:03am<b>baconburger300</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:50pm<b>RoVeR_2000</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:45pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:59am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:05am<b>ladycarousel</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:14pm<b>SpeedToast</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 10:49am<b>Vball6</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:55am<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:53pm<b>cattturine</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:33am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:11pm<b>Articulation</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:54am

fightingkittens's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20889) - you deserved it (5659)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML

#2732
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18669) - you deserved it (3926)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by soundbox - United States (Florida)

Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML

#2443
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9708) - you deserved it (24892)

On 01/24/2009 at 1:56pm - love - by screwed - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59028) - you deserved it (7809)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5372) - you deserved it (40631)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML

#1859
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8356) - you deserved it (23632)

On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML

#1813
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22218) - you deserved it (1653)

On 01/20/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm flying out of the country in a few hours. A plane from the same airline just crashed into the Hudson River and is now floating in it. FML

#1219
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19941) - you deserved it (2132)

On 01/15/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by Tom - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm a 23 year old girl who often has to wear two pairs of socks. I don't have four feet, but I have no boobs. FML

#1019
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18372) - you deserved it (5207)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by carrie - Algeria

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

#919
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (7982)

On 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm - love - by Cùchulainn - Sent from mobile version

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21368) - you deserved it (3736)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7283) - you deserved it (27362)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

#689
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19413) - you deserved it (6994)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version

Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML

#612
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18996) - you deserved it (4118)

On 12/30/2008 at 11:53am - love - by Noname - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24714) - you deserved it (3033)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: