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fightingkittens

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fightingkittens

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7003
  • Number of comments : 240
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?

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fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5204) - you deserved it (39892)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML

#1859
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8349) - you deserved it (23605)

On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML

#1813
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22198) - you deserved it (1652)

On 01/20/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm flying out of the country in a few hours. A plane from the same airline just crashed into the Hudson River and is now floating in it. FML

#1219
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19921) - you deserved it (2131)

On 01/15/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by Tom - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm a 23 year old girl who often has to wear two pairs of socks. I don't have four feet, but I have no boobs. FML

#1019
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18351) - you deserved it (5205)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by carrie - Algeria

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

#919
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27080) - you deserved it (7978)

On 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm - love - by Cùchulainn - Sent from mobile version

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21344) - you deserved it (3733)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7221) - you deserved it (27208)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

#689
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19398) - you deserved it (6992)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version

Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML

#612
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18970) - you deserved it (4116)

On 12/30/2008 at 11:53am - love - by Noname - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24705) - you deserved it (3031)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

#449
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (3050)

On 12/04/2008 at 6:16am - misc - by DarkPhoenix - Sent from mobile version

Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on!". One of the men present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman". Which was also the case. FML

#399
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22273) - you deserved it (8487)

On 11/27/2008 at 7:34am - misc - by lovely-sweet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test about sex. Apparently, my mother likes anal, oral, and my dad's cock is bent. Nauseous. FML

#386
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37913) - you deserved it (8917)

On 11/25/2008 at 3:54am - intimacy - by mael - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst chatting with my mum on MSN, she unintentionally sent me an animated emoticon of a penis jerking off repeatedly. I don't even want to know the type of conversation she was having. FML

#375
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36361) - you deserved it (2314)

On 11/23/2008 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Dina - Sent from mobile version



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