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fightingkittens

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

fightingkittens

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14087
  • Number of comments : 243
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>saladbar401</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:28pm<b>pavingboy</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:17am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:14pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 11:27am<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:19pm<b>Joel541</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 8:27am<b>vikingchick</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Flippier999</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 6:44am<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:48pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:52am<b>IniestaRox</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 8:56am<b>blubje</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:08am<b>Jabiepilot</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:40am<b>Raltizal</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:21am<b>deaconsmom</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 3:49am<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:23am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 7:51am

Fucked!<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Raltizal</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:21am<b>lilimae2002</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:54am<b>mill2775</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:22am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:08am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:56am<b>robertd73</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:26pm<b>kiwifruitred</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 2:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:12am

fightingkittens's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84440) - you deserved it (20498)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32141) - you deserved it (77790)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

#2583409
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52195) - you deserved it (7775)

On 06/03/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by canadiankc (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML

#2526721
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69169) - you deserved it (6328)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:08am - kids - by fallsdownplenty45 (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38400) - you deserved it (63957)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

#2463557
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44611) - you deserved it (5039)

On 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by ailat0107 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

#2282414
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20899) - you deserved it (42095)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by wordmalfunction (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42314) - you deserved it (145625)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML

#2135843
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46910) - you deserved it (8154)

On 05/21/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by GrahamCracker (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML

#1902044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50906) - you deserved it (3343)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

#1877566
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58528) - you deserved it (14272)

On 05/12/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML

#1847078
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44437) - you deserved it (2807)

On 05/11/2009 at 4:37pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new Yankees stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML

#1830985
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8979) - you deserved it (96055)

On 05/10/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by XxespoxX (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

#1775863
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37242) - you deserved it (23761)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:50am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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