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fightingkittens

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fightingkittens

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6540
  • Number of comments : 240
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?

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fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20771) - you deserved it (5649)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML

#2732
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18594) - you deserved it (3923)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by soundbox - United States (Florida)

Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML

#2443
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9629) - you deserved it (24748)

On 01/24/2009 at 1:56pm - love - by screwed - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58552) - you deserved it (7765)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5186) - you deserved it (39738)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML

#1859
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8319) - you deserved it (23542)

On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML

#1813
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (1631)

On 01/20/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm flying out of the country in a few hours. A plane from the same airline just crashed into the Hudson River and is now floating in it. FML

#1219
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19860) - you deserved it (2129)

On 01/15/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by Tom - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm a 23 year old girl who often has to wear two pairs of socks. I don't have four feet, but I have no boobs. FML

#1019
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18280) - you deserved it (5193)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by carrie - Algeria

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

#919
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26985) - you deserved it (7971)

On 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm - love - by Cùchulainn - Sent from mobile version

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20906) - you deserved it (3668)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7041) - you deserved it (26779)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

#689
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19332) - you deserved it (6976)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version

Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML

#612
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18897) - you deserved it (4114)

On 12/30/2008 at 11:53am - love - by Noname - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24662) - you deserved it (3027)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version



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