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fightingkittens

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fightingkittens

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12444
  • Number of comments : 243
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>broncosfan1996</b> - 5 hours ago<b>ImDoghouse</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:13pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:54pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:11am<b>bjf21</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 11:39pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 12:06pm<b>anshu0688</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:02am<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 11:42pm<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 4:07pm<b>lilimae2002</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:54am<b>allie2590</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 8:02am<b>Scryll</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:52pm<b>mill2775</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:22pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 5:18pm<b>Flippier999</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 4:05pm<b>labracabrador</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 1:54pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 1:11pm<b>niksatter96</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 12:36pm

Fucked!<b>lilimae2002</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:54am<b>mill2775</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:22am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:08am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:56am<b>robertd73</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:26pm<b>kiwifruitred</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 2:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:12am

fightingkittens's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99042) - you deserved it (21088)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

#2769644
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73812) - you deserved it (6707)

On 06/10/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by superman_not (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84330) - you deserved it (20478)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31872) - you deserved it (77367)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

#2583409
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52118) - you deserved it (7767)

On 06/03/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by canadiankc (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML

#2526721
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66342) - you deserved it (6005)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:08am - kids - by fallsdownplenty45 (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37163) - you deserved it (62544)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

#2463557
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44541) - you deserved it (5032)

On 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by ailat0107 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

#2282414
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20853) - you deserved it (42047)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by wordmalfunction (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42223) - you deserved it (145233)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML

#2135843
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46834) - you deserved it (8146)

On 05/21/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by GrahamCracker (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML

#1902044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50814) - you deserved it (3337)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

#1877566
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55906) - you deserved it (13631)

On 05/12/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML

#1847078
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44333) - you deserved it (2802)

On 05/11/2009 at 4:37pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)



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