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fightingkittens

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fightingkittens
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 5173
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?

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fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I went round to my Grandparents' to help set up their new Satellite TV. When I turned it on, for some reason it defaulted to "Arab Babes TV". I was therefore inadvertently responsible for the broadcast of porn in my Grandparents' living room. FML

#106107
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29408) - you deserved it (3900)

On 02/22/2009 at 5:55pm - misc - by Hello my name is (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML

#80589
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24418) - you deserved it (11469)

On 02/19/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62249) - you deserved it (4820)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

#14570
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (4476)

On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML

#6894
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4808) - you deserved it (26685)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by parishiltonsbff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

#5739
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20004) - you deserved it (9162)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by houdini - United States (California)

Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML

#3715
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23595) - you deserved it (1529)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by Ren - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18639) - you deserved it (5367)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML

#2732
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14853) - you deserved it (3341)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by soundbox - United States (Florida)

Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML

#2443
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8484) - you deserved it (22218)

On 01/24/2009 at 1:56pm - love - by screwed - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51486) - you deserved it (6994)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4497) - you deserved it (36265)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML

#1859
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5645) - you deserved it (16085)

On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML

#1813
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16717) - you deserved it (1052)

On 01/20/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm flying out of the country in a few hours. A plane from the same airline just crashed into the Hudson River and is now floating in it. FML

#1219
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16057) - you deserved it (1829)

On 01/15/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by Tom - United States (New Jersey)



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