fightingkittens

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/18/2016 at 11:41am)

fightingkittens

35Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18873
  • Number of comments : 255
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>pred8885</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 8:59am<b>player20270</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 8:51am<b>Gruffplatypus87</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 3:27pm<b>csjc</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 9:54am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 10:24pm<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 7:52pm<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 5:11pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 4:06am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 11:31pm<b>yungblkrich</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 1:21am<b>captainwhiskers</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 2:50pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 2:27pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 9:17pm<b>Poyzin7323</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 7:22pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 7:40pm<b>dno79</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 4:33pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 12:45pm<b>four0seven</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 3:24am

Fucked!<b>csjc</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 3:55pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 4:25am<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 11:09pm<b>dno79</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 10:33pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 7:50am<b>Carnage23</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 5:19pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 1:12pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 8:35pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 6:39pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 11:59pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Um_bye</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:18am<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:52am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:22am<b>warrenhoward42</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:20am<b>Matheo</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:13pm

fightingkittens's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML

by Flyboy / 07/18/2010 at 1:02am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals

Today, the Vuvuzela that my brother ordered online was delivered to our house. FML

by anonymous / 06/21/2010 at 8:21am / Kids

Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me in an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2010 at 1:03pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

by liu_kang / 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm / United States / Health

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

by hiii. / 03/15/2010 at 10:27pm / United States (Indiana) / Geek

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

by captainkevineff / 03/11/2010 at 9:44am / United States / Health

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

by raidered / 03/08/2010 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

by Username / 03/03/2010 at 11:34am / Health

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

by aaalias34 / 02/26/2010 at 6:13am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my roommate brought a kitten to the apartment. I hate cats, and probably sensing this, the thing clawed me right in the crotch. I of course am not going to say a thing because I happen to be in love with my roommate, but she has no clue how much I hate this thing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2010 at 7:29pm / United States (South Dakota) / Love

Today, it appears that my upstairs neighbour has decided to learn how to play the trombone. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2010 at 10:45am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML

by nutcracker / 02/23/2010 at 4:28am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

by meaganlea / 02/23/2010 at 12:17am / Canada (Quebec) / Work