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Offline (the 10/18/2016 at 3:52am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 20804
  • Number of comments : 255
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 3:02pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 4:55am<b>MM100</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 9:07am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 1:52pm<b>Michael978</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 12:12am<b>Nina_Kristy</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 12:13am<b>Sia_Will</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 9:28pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 10:13pm<b>username635</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 2:32am<b>deathtojesus</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 9:16am<b>dumbmotherinlaw</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 11:53am<b>wil1029</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 9:17pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 8:57pm<b>lost7702</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 12:15pm<b>BandsRuleBro</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 6:55pm<b>Bullshitticus</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 7:00am<b>killintime379</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 9:16pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 12:13pm

Fucked!<b>Steve95401</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 4:13am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 6:13pm<b>csjc</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 3:55pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 4:25am<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 11:09pm<b>dno79</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 10:33pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 7:50am<b>Carnage23</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 5:19pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 1:12pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 8:35pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 6:39pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 11:59pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Um_bye</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:18am<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:52am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:22am

fightingkittens's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.


Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 3:40am / France / Love

Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 8:31pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 12:32am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Animals

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I made salmon patties and boiled cabbage. I smelled smoke from my stove burner, but thought I spilled something in the burner. No big deal. Later, this horrible smell started coming from the stove. My husband took the stove apart, only to find that I had fried a mouse as well. FML

by Whitley / 11/04/2010 at 11:17am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

by mzgabbster / 10/24/2010 at 8:21am / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML

by soapypete / 10/22/2010 at 9:26am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm going on an 8 hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

by fmmlll / 10/18/2010 at 4:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2010 at 7:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 1:46am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous