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fhsfootball81

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fhsfootball81

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  • Number of visits : 139
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 6:11pm<b>darwinism</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 1:51pm<b>ophel1a</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 1:11am

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fhsfootball81's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

#20701600
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54809) - you deserved it (5992)

On 06/02/2013 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by i'm not psychic, mother fucker (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML

#20701422
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61248) - you deserved it (5837)

On 06/02/2013 at 3:00pm - intimacy - by Kay (woman) - India (Andhra Pradesh)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67948) - you deserved it (4143)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45917) - you deserved it (2980)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48316) - you deserved it (4421)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40206) - you deserved it (19564)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

#20665470
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44745) - you deserved it (3050)

On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55527) - you deserved it (3944)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

#20618791
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59174) - you deserved it (4412)

On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74844) - you deserved it (9070)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML

#20617598
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51187) - you deserved it (20940)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

#20608416
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53911) - you deserved it (6930)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:40pm - love - by Thanks Babe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

#19374662
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21008) - you deserved it (2232)

On 03/30/2012 at 3:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41524) - you deserved it (8042)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14970) - you deserved it (211750)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States



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