About fearswithin : Well, wouldnt you like to know...i would tell u bout myself butwhats,the point..not like anyone reads this..right?
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fearswithin's favorite FMLs
by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my younger brother watched an old music video of The Who, who are know for smashing up their guitars and such. He decided it would be cool to try it with mine. That guitar was worth over $3000. FML
by FML4evs / 04/09/2009 at 10:43pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
by atang / 04/09/2009 at 5:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the beach walking on the boardwalk without a shirt on. Two cute girls are walking my way and I decide to try and impress them by flexing my abs. While I flexed them, I accidentally let a fart out that everyone heard. Everybody, including the girls, laughed hysterically at me. FML
by gotmon3y / 04/07/2009 at 12:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML
by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 11:51am / Japan / Miscellaneous
by hairy / 02/25/2009 at 2:15pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML
by iliketurtles / 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML
by allyshah / 02/20/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
by frankrizzo / 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by j4y / 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Nik / 01/23/2009 at 10:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML
by ohn0es / 01/23/2009 at 5:45am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by Black / 12/11/2008 at 10:31pm / Lebanon (Beqaa) / Intimacy
by USSEYL / 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…