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fckaduck

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fckaduck

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  • Number of visits : 4435
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fckaduck's page activity

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fckaduck's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of eight years explained to me that the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a B.S. in Biology and an M.S. in Anthropology, and I am working on my Ph.D. She thinks I'm an irrational idiot for telling her she is wrong. FML

#3970394
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44779) - you deserved it (9408)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:13am - work - by published_anthropologist (man) - United States

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27238) - you deserved it (59811)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML

#3741978
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56226) - you deserved it (4427)

On 07/14/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by dinapar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

#3684210
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69690) - you deserved it (12243)

On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML

#3669830
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57762) - you deserved it (4629)

On 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

#3603925
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54091) - you deserved it (2806)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)

Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML

#3531560
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6408) - you deserved it (75687)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

#3420908
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43275) - you deserved it (14937)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by Kristache (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

#3398607
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67912) - you deserved it (6481)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I planned a romantic dinner with rose petals, the whole lot, for my ex-girlfriend to win her back. When I took her to my house I told her to guess what I had planned, to which she replied "I hope it's not a stupid romantic dinner with rose petals and shit." FML

#3331987
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50415) - you deserved it (13050)

On 06/29/2009 at 2:31am - love - by ipopnlok (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML

#3329727
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38098) - you deserved it (10915)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they actually called up. FML

#2990758
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20121) - you deserved it (42669)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Jessey (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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Friday 17 October 2014

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