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fboy1588's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm / United States (Delaware) / Intimacy
Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML
by SystemofaBlink41 / 09/29/2014 at 12:31am / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous
by lentmarz / 08/19/2014 at 7:37pm / United States (Idaho) / Love
by justno / 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML
by Zekrome / 05/05/2014 at 3:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/09/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by mistletoe / 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by single again / 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML
by ass slap / 08/11/2013 at 11:35am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by accountnamevalid / 07/21/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…