fauxshrimp

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Offline (the 05/10/2015 at 7:19am)

fauxshrimp

0Fucked!

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  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 211
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fauxshrimp's page activity

Visits<b>shelbylynn1</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 7:56am

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fauxshrimp's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML

by whoreticulturalist / 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2012 at 10:45am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 12:21pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2009 at 10:25am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy