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fauxshrimp

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fauxshrimp

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  • Number of visits : 31
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fauxshrimp's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43532) - you deserved it (16541)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML

#20135660
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24291) - you deserved it (13672)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by whoreticulturalist (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43623) - you deserved it (4542)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

#5205782
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47913) - you deserved it (4203)

On 09/12/2009 at 12:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML

#5102610
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9074) - you deserved it (29972)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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