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fattyboopig

Offline (the 09/02/2014 at 7:50am) | Search for a member

fattyboopig

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  • Number of visits : 65
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fattyboopig's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46749) - you deserved it (5192)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

#21154900
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43444) - you deserved it (16211)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm - misc - by chevygirl51 - United States

Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML

#20878205
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58353) - you deserved it (4172)

On 09/12/2013 at 10:44am - love - by whyme (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (5099)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33168) - you deserved it (19065)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

#20092519
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12056) - you deserved it (44870)

On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML

#19315463
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28164) - you deserved it (3211)

On 03/20/2012 at 6:27pm - misc - by Laura - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML

#19311891
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29105) - you deserved it (6301)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Jen (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

#19297071
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22177) - you deserved it (1837)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:41pm - misc - by vanorav (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML

#19296842
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25137) - you deserved it (10145)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29041) - you deserved it (6051)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14436) - you deserved it (50083)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML

#19187545
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9603) - you deserved it (32909)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by areyouserious - United States

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15809) - you deserved it (29175)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38131) - you deserved it (2281)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)



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