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fattyboopig's favorite FMLs
by disturbed / 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm / Ireland / Animals
by chevygirl51 / 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML
by whyme / 09/12/2013 at 10:44am / United States (Florida) / Love
by oh my son / 12/23/2012 at 1:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
by ayye_its_nikki / 12/19/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm / Canada / Intimacy
by Laura / 03/20/2012 at 6:27pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous
by Jen / 03/20/2012 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by vanorav / 03/17/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by unendowed / 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love
by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by areyouserious / 02/29/2012 at 5:36am / United States / Intimacy
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by thosedamnkids / 01/22/2012 at 12:09am / United States (New York) / Kids
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls.… Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send… Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we…