Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fatjacks

Search for a member

fatjacks

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 July 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 255
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About fatjacks : Hello there! I'm Rebecca.
I love movies, music, video games, photography, reading, The Walking Dead, and anime.
I'm single but my heart is taken.
I love cats and pandas.
I try my best to use correct grammar.
I get on this site everyday, but I hardly ever comment because I can't think of any witty comments. ):
Do people actually read these things?


Unicorns.

fatjacks's page activity

Visits<b>TcheQ</b> - the 11/19/2012 at 11:10pm

fatjacks's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of fatjacks's badges

fatjacks's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a crowded bus when the woman behind me vomited. The guy next to her was a sympathy puker. So were 3 other people. There was no room to escape. FML

#20399062
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28693) - you deserved it (1728)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by MiscHats (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

#20397287
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27922) - you deserved it (4722)

On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26898) - you deserved it (6306)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, my guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML

#20187578
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (2226)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:03am - love - by Anna - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17827) - you deserved it (7169)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24348) - you deserved it (4477)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

#20161561
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7036) - you deserved it (29185)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19761) - you deserved it (6393)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29249) - you deserved it (3000)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (3173)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25533) - you deserved it (6597)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24379) - you deserved it (2279)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35772) - you deserved it (4857)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46534) - you deserved it (4056)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: