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Offline (the 12/04/2014 at 3:22am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 March 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1946
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fatbabypig's page activity

Visits<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:17am<b>cja33</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 5:51pm

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fatbabypig's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

by poro123 / 11/05/2012 at 12:39am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

by L / 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML

by cedechan / 09/29/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

by burn in hell / 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

by SquishFish / 08/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML

by dogmom / 07/16/2012 at 4:51pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

by Concert Flatulent / 07/10/2012 at 12:44am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

by huh / 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking up some stairs, and I told the guy in front of me to be careful, as the handrail was loose and well-worn. I then put my hand on it, and promptly fell backwards down the stairs with a piece of handrail still in my hand. FML

by taob / 05/20/2012 at 1:11pm / China (Guangxi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

by jonasister / 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

by deadgrass / 03/28/2012 at 8:44pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent my day creating a new type of laugh, and performing it in my head. FML

by annoym / 02/21/2012 at 6:49am / United States (Florida) / Work