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fatbabypig
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 March 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 269
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fatbabypig's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28954) - you deserved it (2997)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

#20527973
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40173) - you deserved it (18422)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

#20521518
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29176) - you deserved it (3298)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25371) - you deserved it (2129)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26384) - you deserved it (5709)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30418) - you deserved it (2902)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

#20505985
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11242) - you deserved it (49955)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML

#20501686
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24224) - you deserved it (6403)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm - misc - by maggu (woman) - Denmark

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21489) - you deserved it (7630)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

#20492051
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23653) - you deserved it (2565)

On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43566) - you deserved it (4519)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42449) - you deserved it (3655)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47443) - you deserved it (4345)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34838) - you deserved it (4044)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42968) - you deserved it (6773) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version



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