fatbabypig

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Offline (the 12/04/2014 at 3:22am)

fatbabypig

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 March 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1487
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fatbabypig's page activity

Visits<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:17am<b>cja33</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 5:51pm

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fatbabypig's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

by Thanks Honey / 06/05/2013 at 11:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

by Sonofa / 05/17/2013 at 11:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

by random / 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML

by pregz / 04/24/2013 at 8:18pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

by anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

by JRLJLS / 04/15/2013 at 5:09am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, at school, I saw the guy I like at his locker. I decided to run up from behind and surprise him. I ended up accidentally slamming his locker on his fingers. FML

by saxophone911 / 04/13/2013 at 11:52am / United States / Love

Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML

by MrKento / 04/08/2013 at 7:16pm / Honduras (Francisco Morazan) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on my fifth date with my new girlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML

by unknown / 03/30/2013 at 3:02pm / France / Love

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

by Badam / 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm / France (Aquitaine) / Love

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy