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fatalkiss
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 February 1992 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 6176
  • Number of comments : 195
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About fatalkiss : class of twenty ten :)

fatalkiss's last visitors

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fatalkiss's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

#15251032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45947) - you deserved it (4140)

On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while registering at the grocery store, a customer came into my lane with a 100 piece boiled shrimp platter. Feeling hungry, I muttered "nom nom" under my breath. The old man called my supervisor. Apparently I called him a moron. FML

#14266887
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11662) - you deserved it (23448)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20017) - you deserved it (9266)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15639) - you deserved it (8493)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41598) - you deserved it (1902)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (8185)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

#6852058
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11482) - you deserved it (24417)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

#6367890
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23061) - you deserved it (3190)

On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I work as a cashier, and Iike always I asked the customer paying credit to sign the "sheet" of paper. I recieved a dirty look from one woman who apparently talked to the manager about me, saying I had asked her to sign the "shitty" paper. I have now been warned for "derogatory language." FML

#6057251
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22695) - you deserved it (2128)

On 10/29/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40011) - you deserved it (4296)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, my younger sister's dog broke its leg. The vets are closed today so instead of going on a date with a girl I have been trying to get for at least 2 years, I need to carry an 80 lb. dog that hates me, up and down the stairs. I already got bit twice. FML

#5844999
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25226) - you deserved it (2821)

On 10/15/2009 at 6:14pm - animals - by Noname (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25723) - you deserved it (4756)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56317) - you deserved it (14567)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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