Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fatalkiss

Search for a member

fatalkiss

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 February 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7368
  • Number of comments : 195
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About fatalkiss : class of twenty ten :)

fatalkiss's page activity

Visits<b>Jaymojustmaybe</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:25pm<b>CyanideDragon6</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 9:26pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 10:28am<b>JackHuason</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 1:23am<b>mybabymaduece</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 3:31pm<b>achillesJC123</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 12:37pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 9:58am<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:08pm<b>stevethellama</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:53am<b>dandee_one</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 4:35am<b>LiteralxShit</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:59am<b>MrsJoHood</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 2:31am<b>Twinkieboy1</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 7:27pm<b>ColdRoxas</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 1:29pm<b>steph_steph123</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 7:51pm<b>lexid17</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:41pm<b>joeyl2008</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:51am<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 8:14am

Fucked!<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 4:28pm<b>udderbutter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 4:02am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 9:30pm<b>venomousflower</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 5:44pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:35pm<b>Wye14</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:40pm

fatalkiss's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fatalkiss's favorite FMLs

Today, while registering at the grocery store, a customer came into my lane with a 100 piece boiled shrimp platter. Feeling hungry, I muttered "nom nom" under my breath. The old man called my supervisor. Apparently I called him a moron. FML

#14266887
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14273) - you deserved it (27258)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22774) - you deserved it (9916)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23271) - you deserved it (12279)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48121) - you deserved it (2307)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33424) - you deserved it (8823)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

#6852058
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13777) - you deserved it (27379)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

#6367890
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28406) - you deserved it (3742)

On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I work as a cashier, and Iike always I asked the customer paying credit to sign the "sheet" of paper. I recieved a dirty look from one woman who apparently talked to the manager about me, saying I had asked her to sign the "shitty" paper. I have now been warned for "derogatory language." FML

#6057251
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28923) - you deserved it (2637)

On 10/29/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45027) - you deserved it (4749)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, my younger sister's dog broke its leg. The vets are closed today so instead of going on a date with a girl I have been trying to get for at least 2 years, I need to carry an 80 lb. dog that hates me, up and down the stairs. I already got bit twice. FML

#5844999
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29780) - you deserved it (3212)

On 10/15/2009 at 6:14pm - animals - by Noname (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30425) - you deserved it (5305)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62739) - you deserved it (16118)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40175) - you deserved it (4343)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: