Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fatalkiss

Search for a member

fatalkiss

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 February 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6472
  • Number of comments : 195
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About fatalkiss : class of twenty ten :)

fatalkiss's page activity

Visits<b>OddBall96</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - yesterday at 3:00pm<b>yareens</b> - yesterday at 2:29pm<b>Hellraiser2083</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Spetz14</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:45am<b>Qualdog12</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:47am<b>Jishiku</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:27pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 4:32am<b>Vitrolicz</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 12:34pm<b>Squtchy</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 4:53pm<b>jjjoey4</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 10:26am<b>Stealth_Pilot</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:17am<b>jad0016</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:05pm<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 10:17pm<b>Saso</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:30pm<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 10:59am<b>zombieninja101</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:49am<b>GumpyGobbler</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:40am

fatalkiss's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fatalkiss's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59141) - you deserved it (10084)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML

#16166972
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (4863)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12767) - you deserved it (38629)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29373) - you deserved it (15400)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML

#15905908
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27727) - you deserved it (6737)

On 04/24/2011 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80447) - you deserved it (6028)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33871) - you deserved it (13023)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

#15662595
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30399) - you deserved it (4930)

On 04/06/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47662) - you deserved it (27060)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML

#15374128
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10310) - you deserved it (60911)

On 03/18/2011 at 10:29pm - health - by iAMloud - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

#15296176
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12562) - you deserved it (67196)

On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

#15290209
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23804) - you deserved it (13442)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:39am - misc - by Sparks (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11345) - you deserved it (36697)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

#15251032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48049) - you deserved it (4306)

On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: