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fatalkiss

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 February 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6905
  • Number of comments : 195
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About fatalkiss : class of twenty ten :)

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fatalkiss's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fatalkiss's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60771) - you deserved it (10448)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML

#16166972
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28509) - you deserved it (4880)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13371) - you deserved it (39658)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29551) - you deserved it (15455)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML

#15905908
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28288) - you deserved it (6801)

On 04/24/2011 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80833) - you deserved it (6040)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34494) - you deserved it (13165)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

#15662595
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30584) - you deserved it (4938)

On 04/06/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48795) - you deserved it (27527)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML

#15374128
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10372) - you deserved it (61116)

On 03/18/2011 at 10:29pm - health - by iAMloud - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

#15296176
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12620) - you deserved it (67403)

On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

#15290209
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23942) - you deserved it (13486)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:39am - misc - by Sparks (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11686) - you deserved it (37373)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

#15251032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49405) - you deserved it (4426)

On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)



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