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fatalkiss
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 February 1992 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 6182
  • Number of comments : 195
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About fatalkiss : class of twenty ten :)

fatalkiss's last visitors

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fatalkiss's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52230) - you deserved it (7877)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML

#16166972
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26349) - you deserved it (4685)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10134) - you deserved it (28929)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25313) - you deserved it (13740)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML

#15905908
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26025) - you deserved it (6521)

On 04/24/2011 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73130) - you deserved it (5503)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28703) - you deserved it (10134)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

#15662595
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (4653)

On 04/06/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44881) - you deserved it (25754)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML

#15374128
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9839) - you deserved it (59198)

On 03/18/2011 at 10:29pm - health - by iAMloud - United States

Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML

#15317842
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48011) - you deserved it (6233)

On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

#15296176
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10497) - you deserved it (53720)

On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

#15290209
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19492) - you deserved it (10335)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:39am - misc - by Sparks (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10131) - you deserved it (34472)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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