About fatalkiss : class of twenty ten :)
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51358) - you deserved it (7809)
On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)
Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23686) - you deserved it (4412)
On 05/14/2011 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9933) - you deserved it (28439)
On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28253) - you deserved it (2464)
On 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by rockyrocket (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24845) - you deserved it (13582)
On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22907) - you deserved it (6188)
On 04/24/2011 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71683) - you deserved it (5451)
On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -
Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28218) - you deserved it (10038)
On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25240) - you deserved it (3855)
On 04/06/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41275) - you deserved it (21080)
On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8769) - you deserved it (54981)
On 03/18/2011 at 10:29pm - health - by iAMloud - United States
Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43429) - you deserved it (5138)
On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10338) - you deserved it (52929)
On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19085) - you deserved it (10224)
On 03/13/2011 at 3:39am - misc - by Sparks (man) - United States (California)
Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9242) - you deserved it (28251)
On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
