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fatalkiss

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 February 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6469
  • Number of comments : 195
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About fatalkiss : class of twenty ten :)

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fatalkiss's favorite FMLs

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37247) - you deserved it (3283)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34502) - you deserved it (7575)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35306) - you deserved it (5487)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

#17123749
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38645) - you deserved it (7187)

On 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML

#17100769
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22349) - you deserved it (2121)

On 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm - health - by stephiew - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73550) - you deserved it (7674)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (6376)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML

#17071540
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17201) - you deserved it (14926)

On 07/11/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML

#17048924
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31797) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/10/2011 at 2:03am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33668) - you deserved it (3606)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10202) - you deserved it (43060)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, our carbon monoxide detector started beeping. My mom started freaking out and made me go stand outside so I "don't die". I stood outside for 20 minutes, it was raining and it turned out that the detector was just low on battery. FML

#16904545
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28908) - you deserved it (3837)

On 06/29/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by eyelashess (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML

#16673731
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15316) - you deserved it (33444)

On 06/15/2011 at 5:02am - health - by Alec - United States

Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML

#16479065
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25050) - you deserved it (2974)

On 06/03/2011 at 2:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32319) - you deserved it (18157)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)



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