Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 09/02/2015 at 1:47am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 March 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 442
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About farleytb42 : Hey guys! I'm some french-canadian guy who loves hockey (stereotypes), martial arts, fml and making jokes. I'm a lifeguard and i'm studying to become a cop. If you guys want to know me better just message me

farleytb42's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:02pm<b>ellie_215</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Strajee</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:42am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 11:01am<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:53pm<b>noahg45</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:30am<b>sophie_doll</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:54am<b>me127</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 12:56am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 1:32pm<b>juliapereth</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:31am<b>elmassapilo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 2:23am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:08pm<b>James64138</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:35pm<b>ifoundwaldo123</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:14pm<b>leahb99</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:27pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:51pm<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:02pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 3:35pm<b>noahg45</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:31pm<b>alexissblakee</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:03am

farleytb42's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of farleytb42's badges

farleytb42's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33083) - you deserved it (2838)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28716) - you deserved it (17278)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43210) - you deserved it (13097)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38084) - you deserved it (4183)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37447) - you deserved it (10047)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35060) - you deserved it (2795)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54989) - you deserved it (7154)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML


I agree, your life sucks (36707) - you deserved it (24640)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (33831) - you deserved it (5542) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (56893)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48945) - you deserved it (12181)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: