farleytb42

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Offline (the 09/02/2015 at 1:47am)

farleytb42

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 565
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About farleytb42 : Hey guys! I'm some french-canadian guy who loves hockey (stereotypes), martial arts, fml and making jokes. I'm a lifeguard and i'm studying to become a cop. If you guys want to know me better just message me

farleytb42's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:02pm<b>ellie_215</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Strajee</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:42am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 11:01am<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:53pm<b>noahg45</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:30am<b>sophie_doll</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:54am<b>me127</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 12:56am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 1:32pm<b>juliapereth</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:31am<b>elmassapilo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 2:23am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:08pm<b>James64138</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:35pm<b>ifoundwaldo123</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:14pm<b>leahb99</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:27pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:51pm<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:02pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 3:35pm<b>noahg45</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:31pm<b>alexissblakee</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:03am

farleytb42's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Perfectionist

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See all of farleytb42's badges

farleytb42's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

by a critically injured shitehawk / 04/25/2015 at 6:34am / United Kingdom (York) / Love

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

by smooth / 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm / United States / Work

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

by facepalm / 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

by Waterfalls / 10/07/2014 at 7:33am / United States (California) / Health

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

by dining / 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

by whoops / 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML

by drsyl54 / 03/28/2010 at 5:04am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

by reb2632 / 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals