Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fantita495

Search for a member

fantita495

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2104
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

fantita495's page activity

Visits<b>depressingrage</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:43pm<b>utrax</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 7:40am<b>hippox</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 7:40am<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:46am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:10pm<b>bpbpbp1</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 7:01pm<b>apalat</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 12:27am<b>okcnation</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:01am<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:00am<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 11:57pm<b>whitevenom</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 10:47am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 6:26pm<b>drewski_14</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 5:20pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 11:41am<b>saidoh</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 6:01pm<b>whyisitincapital</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 3:18am<b>jw90</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 9:15pm

fantita495's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of fantita495's badges

fantita495's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

#5136668
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19971) - you deserved it (4138)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

#4912906
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42385) - you deserved it (3374)

On 08/29/2009 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Ned (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML

#4618484
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61144) - you deserved it (3192)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)

Today, I was talking to my only grandson about how I was going to the dentist to get my teeth fixed and how it was going to cost a lot of money, he replied saying "Who cares, you're going to die soon anyways". FML

#3096413
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60711) - you deserved it (3475)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by oldtimerclark - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to run outside. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he replied You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML

#1505270
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16266) - you deserved it (46896)

On 04/30/2009 at 8:52pm - love - by Eli123 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67243) - you deserved it (19876)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, when my boyfriend reffered to my hair, I told him I was going to dye it. He responded by saying, "finally, so how much you going for, 40, maybe 50 pounds?". I said dye it, not diet. FML

#810319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57487) - you deserved it (8536)

On 04/05/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by lifestinks - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML

#533969
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62082) - you deserved it (11714)

On 03/22/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by Laceylace (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance. It's one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I'm waiting in his driveway with balloons I see his car reverse and go the other direction. FML

#415998
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83797) - you deserved it (18466)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by SmileEveryday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML

#155544
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21473) - you deserved it (41988)

On 02/27/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by bojangles (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

#79669
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48988) - you deserved it (4870)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by dpl (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (228829) - you deserved it (80530)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I wore the belt that my stepfather has spent 2 months needle pointing, as a finishing touch he added my initials: 'fml'. FML

#43166
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33371) - you deserved it (4726)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by MLS (woman) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: