Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fantae

Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 11:58am) | Search for a member

fantae

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 333
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About fantae : Hola! I don't comment that much but I'm here to talk to people yay shoot me a message!

And yes, I love fanta.

fantae's page activity

Visits<b>kaya1001</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 1:07am<b>FrozenMusic</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 10:16am<b>BexBaby86</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:21am<b>Sir_Random_Guy</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 12:29pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 2:44am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:30am<b>natalea_rae</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:01pm<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:25pm<b>OneDayDown</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:32pm<b>llamarrama01</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 9:44pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:41pm<b>juanschwartz</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:17am<b>TheBESSS97</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm<b>pluviophile</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:23am<b>omfgorlaith</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 8:17am<b>izbechillin</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 8:13pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 8:04pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 3:34pm

fantae's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of fantae's badges

fantae's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27017) - you deserved it (11779)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

#21240451
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33576) - you deserved it (3015)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37556) - you deserved it (11817)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my roommate decided to throw a huge party in the early hours of the morning. I have to start at my new job soon, a window just got smashed, and I'm tired as hell. FML

Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML

#21232741
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45759) - you deserved it (2834)

On 08/08/2014 at 7:25pm - health - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vasternorrlands Lan)

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42926) - you deserved it (3831)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

#21230823
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39030) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:21am - kids - by We raised that fool (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

#21229943
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35654) - you deserved it (16258)

On 08/05/2014 at 8:31am - kids - by ihatespiders (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42585) - you deserved it (6967)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I won a big raffle. However, my name is so ridiculous-sounding that they thought someone was playing a prank, and pulled a different ticket. I was too embarrassed to say anything. FML

#21227005
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38796) - you deserved it (10719)

On 08/01/2014 at 7:10pm - misc - by infortunatename - United States (California)

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39606) - you deserved it (3338)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56120) - you deserved it (41643)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35145) - you deserved it (2917)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46211) - you deserved it (14220)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: