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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40160) - you deserved it (6021)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mom asked me to clean beneath my brother's bed for money. I found a rotten apple, a picture of my best friend, and a dead bird. I got $10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20515) - you deserved it (3127)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:04pm - kids - by Brotherssuckkk - Sent from mobile version
Today, my grandma told me to fuck off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21776) - you deserved it (4549)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36855) - you deserved it (4057)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, was my first day at my new job, which requires you to wear a special shirt. Come to find out, they only have medium sized shirts. I am an XL. They demanded I wear the shirt anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21437) - you deserved it (6405)
On 01/17/2010 at 12:37am - work - by mikey09 (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24925) - you deserved it (3649)
On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States
Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8796) - you deserved it (17472)
On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9265) - you deserved it (35754)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32140) - you deserved it (15885)
On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (57735)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37081) - you deserved it (8816)
On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77876) - you deserved it (3143)
On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14329) - you deserved it (26403)
On 08/12/2009 at 3:02pm - misc - by signupsheetfail (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18118) - you deserved it (44363)
On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5585) - you deserved it (57383)
On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)
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