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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend and his friends had a conversation about the power of boobs. He later asked me to make him a sandwich to "prove my love for him." I said "How about I just show you my tits?" Without looking up from the TV, he said, "How about you make me a sandwich?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10230) - you deserved it (19233)
On 12/10/2009 at 11:19pm - love - by Sheik (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year old son starts rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly. "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looks at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22676) - you deserved it (1849)
On 12/05/2009 at 7:04pm - animals - by Sissy (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know whats worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6996) - you deserved it (20071)
On 12/04/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by wobbles (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42870) - you deserved it (1880)
On 12/04/2009 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was driving my child to school when the car let out a huge bang. It shuddered to a halt. My son started laughing. I asked him what was funny but he wouldn't tell me. The car wouldn't start. I called RACV and they told me the problem. My son had rolled 9 golf balls into the exhaust pipe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24338) - you deserved it (2476)
On 11/01/2009 at 1:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8575) - you deserved it (49060)
On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years old. I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25740) - you deserved it (8707)
On 10/23/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by lloydLO (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23851) - you deserved it (5677)
On 09/22/2009 at 9:10pm - love - by cchandler (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85072) - you deserved it (25503)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (753768) - you deserved it (63735)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
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