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I agree, their lives suck
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fancymega's favorite FMLs
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by babyblues / 11/20/2012 at 2:45pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML
by Chris / 11/20/2012 at 12:03am / United States (Washington) / Love
by poserpilot / 11/12/2012 at 10:10am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML
by BulldogHoops / 11/12/2012 at 12:12am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML
by Me / 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm / United States / Transportation
by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML
by Screwed / 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
by pheebs314 / 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by heartbroke / 11/03/2012 at 6:02am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love
Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:17am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
by ananymous / 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by OhLovely / 10/31/2012 at 9:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…