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fancybest

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fancybest

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1252
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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fancybest's favorite FMLs

Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML

#8118993
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25464) - you deserved it (4837)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:14am - love - by sari14 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML

#7803778
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12420) - you deserved it (52004)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?" FML

#7335788
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29902) - you deserved it (6727)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:06am - intimacy - by anun (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML

#7185908
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39683) - you deserved it (3301)

On 01/06/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92178) - you deserved it (5284)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that my virus protection program now has a virus. FML

#5839185
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28357) - you deserved it (4932)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

#5811757
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40948) - you deserved it (3593)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by IMayBeAFool (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

#4247689
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73307) - you deserved it (4378)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93370) - you deserved it (243472)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25115) - you deserved it (79176)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

#1427967
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17357) - you deserved it (59714)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML

#293616
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93028) - you deserved it (4061)

On 03/12/2009 at 10:20pm - animals - by LJ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (519135) - you deserved it (51205)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47184) - you deserved it (11213)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)



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