fancybest

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fancybest

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1737
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fancybest's page activity

Visits<b>AyeJay101</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 9:41am<b>PinkasaurusRex</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:44pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 5:30am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 2:02pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 8:02pm

fancybest's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of fancybest's badges

fancybest's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

by picklebug / 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

by AlonsoKold / 07/25/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

by no new apartment for me / 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

by ouch / 07/12/2013 at 3:22am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Maine) / Transportation

Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 3:10am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

by he's a dawk, and a cunt / 07/05/2013 at 6:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

by keiran123 / 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

by VictoriaLeavitt / 06/24/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous