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fancybest

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fancybest

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1264
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>AyeJay101</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 9:41am<b>PinkasaurusRex</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:44pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 5:30am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 2:02pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 8:02pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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fancybest's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41349) - you deserved it (19690)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

#20790691
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49867) - you deserved it (4076)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

#20777221
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59330) - you deserved it (4604)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by ouch (man) - United States

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50177) - you deserved it (14187)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML

#20775563
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30392) - you deserved it (39473)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

#20775203
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53216) - you deserved it (5469)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

#20765683
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46055) - you deserved it (7618)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:29pm - misc - by he's a dawk, and a cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

#20759193
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26292) - you deserved it (66974)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

#20757856
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51364) - you deserved it (10693)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44591) - you deserved it (3199)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63113) - you deserved it (4166)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61477) - you deserved it (4438)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my last orchestra concert and had a large solo. My dad came to watch and record it; however, the whole time he recorded another girl, thinking it was me. FML

#20728759
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46891) - you deserved it (3085)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)



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