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famvd

Offline (the 08/14/2014 at 5:14pm) | Search for a member

famvd

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1096
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

About famvd : Follow me on Instagram :)

@famvd

famvd's page activity

Visits<b>Abbey1598</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:25pm<b>Stevieray20</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:42am<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:53pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:13am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 2:16am<b>grogers311</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:56am<b>PCJJacket</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:13pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:07pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:44pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 9:32am<b>okcnation</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:18am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 4:53am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:31pm<b>EpicBlondie89</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 3:43pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 5:03pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 4:31pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:20pm<b>Garrison21</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:17pm

famvd's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of famvd's badges

famvd's favorite FMLs

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52415) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34953) - you deserved it (8502)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48069) - you deserved it (5567)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a smurf. FML

#21076785
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39062) - you deserved it (3656)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my mom and I flew three hours from Wyoming to a volleyball camp in Kentucky. When we arrived, we went to the volleyball center and told them I was there for the volleyball camp. They told me it had been cancelled two weeks ago and they forgot to call us. FML

#21066263
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49193) - you deserved it (3551)

On 02/20/2014 at 3:57am - health - by maddengirl12 (woman) - United States

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54571) - you deserved it (6720)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (8332)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

#21037484
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40820) - you deserved it (22445)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49402) - you deserved it (17605)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46166) - you deserved it (4962)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

#21013681
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53455) - you deserved it (11460)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years old. FML

#20987666
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40721) - you deserved it (8723)

On 12/10/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by Somerandomguy64 (man) - United States (New York)



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Friday 14 November 2014

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