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by Nixontones / 10/14/2011 at 11:09am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by appaluver / 09/03/2011 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by indierocklove / 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by quickfingers100 / 05/22/2011 at 5:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Username / 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 9:17am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, I was walking with the dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling another friend came by, and we went talking for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone in the water instead of his stick. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2010 at 9:27am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals
Today, I saw a blond-haired guy crouched by my bike fiddling with something as I came back from the shop. Thinking he was a thief, I slammed him across the head with my helmet, knocked him over - then I realised not only was he a kid barely in his teens, he was tying his shoes. FML
Today, I had a job interview and things were going really well until I noticed the woman interviewing me staring at the inside of my elbow. I am recovering from a poison sumac rash, and each spot looks like a puncture wound from a syringe. I was dismissed before the interview was over. FML
by caiti / 08/05/2009 at 9:25pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, my boyfriend of a month had to leave early. I asked him why and he replied that his brother was getting off the bus and he needed to feed him. I had never met his brother, and I said "He can't feed himself? What is he, retarded?" He is. FML
by Anonymous / 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Chedder / 06/26/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation
Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML
by hipprep83 / 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML
by justanaccount / 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm / Spain (Madrid) / Miscellaneous
by Tom / 01/15/2009 at 10:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…