This member hasn't filled in their description.
fallingstarsxox's FML badges
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
fallingstarsxox's favorite FMLs
Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML
by crankg / 10/21/2011 at 12:57am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML
by KilteDKilleR / 10/15/2011 at 10:02am / United States (Utah) / Health
Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
by myasshurts / 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML
by cduran2011 / 10/14/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Nickname / 10/12/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a root canal, I went to the pharmacy for some pain killers. The cute girl behind the counter asked what I needed. When I opened my mouth to tell her, a wave of drool hurtled out and splattered on the counter. FML
by maninpain / 10/10/2011 at 3:44pm / Kenya / Love
by anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 9:20pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML
by Laura / 10/08/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Work
Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML
by myBFsucks / 10/05/2011 at 12:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Ramis182 / 10/03/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML
by bastard magnet / 10/02/2011 at 6:14pm / United States (California) / Love
by Kelly / 10/02/2011 at 12:53am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by kewtness_17 / 10/01/2011 at 7:10pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
- Today, I went to Walmart with a friend of mine to buy some chips and drinks. As we were leaving the… Today, I went bikini shopping after much convincing, not because I'm fat, but because my boobs are… Today, I got a call from my manager asking me if I realized I had a shift that started half an hour…