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fallingstarsxox's favorite FMLs
by cuppycakeslove / 12/07/2011 at 6:35am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by drummahboi99 / 12/03/2011 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
by hannahlorraine / 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my news feed, I notice a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML
by beccabooyah / 11/19/2011 at 7:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by insulted / 11/15/2011 at 12:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by weswithaute / 11/13/2011 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML
by TTR / 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML
by stitchesupmyass / 11/01/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML
by charlie3289 / 10/27/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Florida) / Work
by mew / 10/25/2011 at 2:04pm / Canada / Kids
Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 5:51pm / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Health
Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML
by Mr.P / 10/21/2011 at 11:35am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
- Today, I lost 30 pounds, I was so excited so I showed my husband (which I normally don't do because… Today, I'm more into the best man from my wedding (3 years ago) than I am my husband: which is not… Today is my birthday. I'm too hung over to move, the sim card in my phone has disappeared, I tipped…