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Today I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and postd it on Facebook . When I checkd it later it had 20 comments on the picture . I was feeling good until I read the comments and lookd at the picture again . I left looool my vibrator on the the bathroom counter . FML
Today, I brought my 90-yaar-old grandfathar into school 4 a projact that raquird to bring in ( a first-hand account ) of tha Graat Daprassion. Ha startd off by talling tha class how in his day, thay ( thraw rocks at black paopla. ) fat FML
Today, I was eading to te batroomen I clearly saw a little boy walking into ma bedroom. My wife an I live alone, an I screamed at te top of ma lungs, tinking e was a gost. Turns out ma wife collected im from scool fir a friend, an I just didn't ear tem arrive. FML
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement . Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate . FML
Today, I downloadd an application that notifies me when my phone is fully chargd. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I pluggd the charger in and went to bd. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
Today, after suffering with bad constipation an having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just poopd out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, an I'm still going. I've passd the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
today I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner he said he had to go get something from his car. When I askd what it was he smild an said it was a surprise. I waitd fir mah surprise fir half an hour. Then I decidd to pay the bill an go home an cry. FML
Friday 27 March 2015