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fallingstarsxox's favorite FMLs
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
by Hunter101 / 05/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
by rongo12 / 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Miscellaneous
by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
by pathetic / 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Geek
by Mary Kathryn / 04/22/2012 at 8:09am / United States (California) / Kids
by Salvation711 / 04/15/2012 at 11:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
by rozziepop / 03/30/2012 at 1:37am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
by Ismellbacon / 02/29/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
by awhmaaan / 02/27/2012 at 10:55am / United Kingdom / Health
by Anonymous / 02/26/2012 at 4:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by katams / 02/26/2012 at 7:28am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 5:17pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML
by kingpig / 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Love
- Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes.… Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I… Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. The reason? She slept with four men while I was two weeks away…