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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to my Russian language class after days of being sick. We must speak in Russian. The professor asked how I felt. I said "like shit." I didn't know the word I used was the verb, not the noun. So I told an awesome prof and class I was "feeling like I was in the process of defacating." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7468) - you deserved it (18983)
On 09/25/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by rebel_rose (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49744) - you deserved it (1568)
On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84475) - you deserved it (17442)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47612) - you deserved it (2250)
On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34994) - you deserved it (1859)
On 08/15/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by iltdtsm - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36851) - you deserved it (8742)
On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML
I agree, your life sucks (63767) - you deserved it (3606)
On 08/03/2009 at 1:15am - love - by Tuck_My_Life (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50532) - you deserved it (2132)
On 08/02/2009 at 8:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16747) - you deserved it (39911)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81745) - you deserved it (24052)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (45781) - you deserved it (6143)
On 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by waxinghorror (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46074) - you deserved it (6572)
On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (363042) - you deserved it (401387)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
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