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fair113

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fair113
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 December 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 711
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31546) - you deserved it (19667)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

#16251176
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8314) - you deserved it (65809)

On 05/19/2011 at 11:13am - work - by Username -

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31672) - you deserved it (14223)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I wore a Stanford college T-shirt to school. My Spanish teacher took one look at it and said "You wish". FML

#15752266
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29788) - you deserved it (7176)

On 04/12/2011 at 6:09am - misc - by anon -

­Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

#15726248
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23057) - you deserved it (3224)

On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. I had my headphones in and was blasting my music. It was also cold so I had my hood up. I had my back turned to the house and wasn't paying attention. My brother thought I was a burglar and tackled me to the concrete. FML

#15720918
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16170) - you deserved it (25421)

On 04/10/2011 at 4:55am - misc - by Ouch (woman) - Canada

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42546) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML

#15103887
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28863) - you deserved it (4553)

On 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67086) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94211) - you deserved it (5040)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53960) - you deserved it (11683)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33567) - you deserved it (9136)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23758) - you deserved it (16720)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101053) - you deserved it (11755)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)



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