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Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21872) - you deserved it (6058)
On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46051) - you deserved it (5592)
On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)
Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8193) - you deserved it (67119)
On 07/23/2011 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35357) - you deserved it (4182) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28215) - you deserved it (6472)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35993) - you deserved it (5808)
On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31394) - you deserved it (2429)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30842) - you deserved it (4460)
On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)
Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33429) - you deserved it (4703)
On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10034) - you deserved it (154585)
On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States
Today, I went to a concert with my boyfriend. I was repeatedly ass-grabbed, grinded on and hit on by guys. My boyfriend's response was, "As long as they continue to bring you free beer, let them get a little feel of what they are paying for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34018) - you deserved it (7559)
On 06/15/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by unknown - United States (California)
Today, I had to be the one to break it to my daughter that WWE fighting was staged. She began crying. However, last month she didn't shed a single tear at her grandmother's funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30036) - you deserved it (3887)
On 06/14/2011 at 2:08am - kids - by mk (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9704) - you deserved it (40687)
On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my aunt gave my cat aspirin because when she touched his nose he had a 'fever'. I came home to a dead cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46562) - you deserved it (2762)
On 06/04/2011 at 7:22am - animals - by Clumsyblonde22 - United States
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8824) - you deserved it (84034)
On 06/04/2011 at 5:36am - love - by PizzaBoySwag (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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