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Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26074) - you deserved it (4731)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20833) - you deserved it (2198)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26614) - you deserved it (6621)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20402) - you deserved it (5726)
On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43086) - you deserved it (4463)
On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)
Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7485) - you deserved it (61120)
On 07/23/2011 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33791) - you deserved it (3976) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (5202)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by gntfmlingnow - United States (Ohio)
Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32840) - you deserved it (4620)
On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29834) - you deserved it (2320)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28275) - you deserved it (3559)
On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)
Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31140) - you deserved it (3827)
On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8992) - you deserved it (131307)
On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States
Today, I went to a concert with my boyfriend. I was repeatedly ass-grabbed, grinded on and hit on by guys. My boyfriend's response was, "As long as they continue to bring you free beer, let them get a little feel of what they are paying for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31788) - you deserved it (6186)
On 06/15/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by unknown - United States (California)
Today, I had to be the one to break it to my daughter that WWE fighting was staged. She began crying. However, last month she didn't shed a single tear at her grandmother's funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28657) - you deserved it (3699)
On 06/14/2011 at 2:08am - kids - by mk (woman) - United States (Texas)
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