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failuresforfun
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  • Number of visits : 2643
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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failuresforfun's favorite FMLs

Today, I went downtown to pay my speeding ticket. After standing in line and arguing with a rude woman behind the desk, I get back to my car only to find an expired meter and a parking ticket. I got a ticket while paying my ticket. FML

#1634783
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43290) - you deserved it (14752)

On 05/04/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my exgirlfriend's number. She texted back, "one of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML

#1628197
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24264) - you deserved it (65698)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by 1suckatL1fe - United States (Virginia)

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

#1347593
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9557) - you deserved it (72285)

On 04/26/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by waltzy777 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was hanging out at my school with some friends when my mom came to pick me up. A girl I knew wanted a hug before I left. I turned around to hug her and a clip on my backpack got stuck on her tank top. I tuned away the clip pulled the shirt ripping it and exposing her naked chest. FML

#1342086
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58634) - you deserved it (7358)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Mikey (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

#1339602
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42223) - you deserved it (15186)

On 04/25/2009 at 11:10pm - animals - by poopedon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the rescue group I volunteer at, we finally adopted out a dog that has been with us for a few years now. This was an amazing thing for us because we never thought he'd get adopted. As we were getting excited and hugging each other, the dog ran away. FML

#1331551
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38616) - you deserved it (7101)

On 04/25/2009 at 7:36pm - animals - by ugh (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML

#1090748
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43822) - you deserved it (8997)

On 04/18/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

#1080598
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (98749)

On 04/18/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

#1076233
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43559) - you deserved it (14513)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

#1070820
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36283) - you deserved it (12254)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML

#1047922
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14960) - you deserved it (69867)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML

#1047617
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6627) - you deserved it (71359)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:12am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

#1040917
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42673) - you deserved it (20006)

On 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by duuuuude (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML

#1021502
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19073) - you deserved it (105404)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML

#1017067
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70984) - you deserved it (31517)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:49am - intimacy - by nudesurprise (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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