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faeryofshalott

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faeryofshalott

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  • Number of visits : 266
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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faeryofshalott's page activity

Visits<b>crimsonlilies</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 9:38pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 1:40pm

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faeryofshalott's favorite FMLs

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, a guy I had been casually seeing asked me to dinner. Thinking he could be wanting to make things serious, I got all dressed up. Turns out he got a girlfriend and just wanted to tell me in person to avoid things being awkward. We then waited in silence for our meal. FML

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55694) - you deserved it (7032)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

#21039368
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43721) - you deserved it (6730)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

#21025526
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45720) - you deserved it (3342)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

#21025356
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42661) - you deserved it (3490)

On 01/12/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by tired individual (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years old. FML

#20987666
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40613) - you deserved it (8712)

On 12/10/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by Somerandomguy64 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (38707)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50778) - you deserved it (6465)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

#20754256
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44261) - you deserved it (2620)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by perdix??? (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I donated blood for the first time. I'm completely healthy and after waiting the appropriate amount of time I left, feeling fine. That is until I went out to eat with my family an hour later and passed out in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#20724782
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35309) - you deserved it (3688)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:39am - health - by hi_there4397 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML

#20724700
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47056) - you deserved it (7060)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by :( - United States (Colorado)

Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML

#20723133
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46757) - you deserved it (23905)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:16am - misc - by fuckyouverymuch (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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