About fadedddiamonds : made entirely of flaws stitched together with good intentions ت
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fadedddiamonds's favorite FMLs
by Brooke / 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I wanted to look really good for my date. I was a little self-conscious, so I decided to use Nair on my upper lip just in case I had a female mustache. Unfortunately, it turns out I'm allergic to Nair. Now I DO have a mustache. A rash mustache. FML
by muffin / 05/10/2009 at 1:22am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 8:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was… Today, I was taking a long, relaxing, hot bath with my girlfriend after a long day. She had fallen… Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower.…