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Offline (the 10/05/2015 at 5:39pm) | Search for a member
About fadedddiamonds : made entirely of flaws stitched together with good intentions ت
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
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Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML
Today, I wanted to look really good for my date. I was a little self-conscious, so I decided to use Nair on my upper lip just in case I had a female mustache. Unfortunately, it turns out I'm allergic to Nair. Now I DO have a mustache. A rash mustache. FML
Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML
Monday 5 October 2015