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facepalmtoomuch

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facepalmtoomuch
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 October 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 233
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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facepalmtoomuch's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31563) - you deserved it (2637)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26066) - you deserved it (3148) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18287) - you deserved it (34132)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

#20406289
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42308) - you deserved it (3336)

On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6858) - you deserved it (16371)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

#20037445
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19049) - you deserved it (1431)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (6476)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

#20031596
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14595) - you deserved it (4057)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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